Metamorphosis

This is worth watching in full screen with the sound up...

Consider and remember this, that any 'unwanted', 'unhelpful' or 'painful' stuff in your life or within your self (mind, body or otherwise) is just extra energy and that this energy can change, such as a caterpillar into a butterfly... In chinese Qi Gong, an ancient medical science and healing practice, they say that energy cannot be destroyed. It can only be transformed, and all energy (or qi, which constitutes everything) will eventually go back to the infinite source of the universe. All this 'extra' energy you have in your life can and will eventually change (or return to the universe) in some form that is unique and unlike anything else in existence now, past or future. All energy is essentially one and the same, but no energy is 'bad' or 'good', just in a different form and position in space.

I think one of our constant 'challenges' is to open to the possibility of change. With curiosity, awareness and acceptance, and to resolve to keep doing this, with every breath we take (sorry if that sentence got a certain song stuck in your head.) We can't predict exactly what kind of outcome or change will come from any situation, pain, sickness, emotion, etc. but I know that if you try to look at it with positive intentions, or however you choose to deal with it, it has the potential to be something good. There is no limit to the forms of life. That's the thought that came to me looking at these butterflies.

I had intended to make this a short & quick post but well, didn't quite accomplish that. Also my words were probably not a very good expression of this way of thought to anyone new to it, but it'll do for tonight. Just enjoy the nice butterflies!.. I also wanted to include a couple of related snippets from qi gong master Chunyi Lin's facebook page:

"Weiji is the Chinese word for crisis. The two characters that make up the word represent "danger" and "opportunity." When there is a crisis it is an opportunity to make something better. I like that. No matter what happens I am calm because there are 10,000 ways to handle one conflict. Just feel peace in your heart." - Lin

"A crisis can be a great chance for evolution... When there is a drought, water is so scarce that most of your plants will die off. But somewhere out there will be some plants that survive, even with little or no water. If you take the seeds of those plants and share them with your neighbors, you can grow a whole new generation of plants that thrive without wasting as much water as before. Then when you need less water, you can store more water for later on in case there is a drought again.

And the funny thing is, you would never have been able to find out which plants could do that if Crisis had not presented you with the Opportunity" - contributor

There is a lot of change going on in my life right now, one being moving house this week. There are big changes going on in the world. The most important thing we can learn is to live in the present. Remember that TV ad which claimed that the most commonly used word was OK and then proposed "what if the words was 'what if?' ". Forget that. what if the word was "what is?"...
More soon, thanks for all the comments and feedback I'm getting - keep it coming please! Good night

It's one of they Sunday afternoon

It's been a while, blah blah and so on. I've just read over my old posts and it's interesting, though I only wrote all that pretty recently I'm kind of cringing at some of the stuff. I guess that's how it goes. It's very easy to always slate our "former selves", but the truth is it wasn't some other person it was "me" and it still is "me". It's good to keep the lessons of the past because there's always something to learn, but ignorance gets us clinging and it's really pointless. We can't alter our former self or gain anything by cussing him or by wishing we were more like him now, because "he" just doesn't exist. By doing these things we are really struggling with the only self there is, that's right here on this chair, this confused mass of fudge, bones and electricity.

Our relationship with the self is really the key to everything. If we don't get on with our self I think it makes it more difficult to get on with anything or anyone. On the other hand if we could accept our self completely, and to give an extreme (hypothetical) example, if we could even be fully content and chilled out if say, suddenly we found ourself floating out in space in a little box with no windows and no telly, if we could learn to just be, at peace with our own mind and experience, then surely we would find it easier to get on with all of this here on earth, this society, this desk-job, this wife, or husband. I'm not saying we've got to be perfect, there really is no such thing¹, but just to try and look at things a bit differently, paying attention to our thoughts when we're sifting through the past (or the storyline of now or the possibilities of later), with every bit of our self, all the shit, unsightly or appealing, rooted in the present. To maybe be a bit kinder, patient, understanding and honest with our self. That way you don't have to battle so much with everything else because any external battle, struggle or confusion isn't actually about the relationship with the thing or person, it's really about the relationship you have with you. And when we're more at ease with our self, we can understand others better and have better relationships because we see that we're all no different.

I could carry on writing but I'll let you take it from there, whatever you make of it. And my hungover head keeps stalling and lingering. No need to overdo it, right? I've got a full week's work ahead of me and forms to fill in. I think I'll just watch the next episode of Heroes and have some leftovers for lunch.

As for an update, right now I've just applied for my Foundation (FdSc) in Horticulture at Duchy College. Plan to do three years (including a 'top-up' year Bsc Hons I can do elsewhere if I choose) and find somewhere to stay in Penzance (if anyone knows about any house shares or anything or is looking for somewhere also around Sep give me a shout!). So, I'm looking forward to that, the course looks pretty good. Got the odd bit of labouring work, some voluntary gardening, starting driving lessons soon and just ready for a bit of summer sun and beaching! Oh and been doing much guitar playing, writing and jamming and getting into the open mic nights a bit... That's about it. I plan to de a bit more of this blogging too.

Happy birthday Teagan, last night was a good laugh!

Youtube clip: Thich Nhat Hanh on mindfulness. I read a good book by him recently 'Being Peace'. This is my favourite video at the moment next to Sigur Rós' Heima.

¹ I don't hold to that completely. I think there is a kind of perfection - something for another day though. "True perfection seems imperfect, yet it is perfectly itself. True fullness seems empty, yet it is fully present. True straightness seems crooked. True wisdom seems foolish. True art seems artless." - Lao Tze, Tao Te Ching.

Crashing into Penzance promenade.

No, not a car, the sea...

Good morning cyberspace. Up bright and early today to begin a dedicated forty day routine of practice, joining with people across the globe in the Winter Feast for the Soul. Lots of people will be meditating or doing spiritual practice, including 4 minutes a day for kids, each day. I'm hoping that putting my energy into this time will give me a good foundation for my practice the rest of the year and also that along with other people's intention I might help to bring more peace into others' lives and my own.

A rainy, misty morning with some intense waves crashing against the prom. I'm going down to co-op in a sec to get The Cornishman (hopefully he wont get me back) to see if there's any new jobs and check the classifieds for a new mountain/road bike. My last one was stolen from the bottom of Causeway Head, which was nice. I'm getting some waterproofs and gloves to do some flower picking near Long Rock next week if it's on.

On the topic of waves, I thought I would post the lyrics from the last song I wrote, 'Waves'. Written when winter was just taking over from autumn, just over a year ago. It hasn't got a lot to it without the music, but you should get the gist.

---

Say hello to the trees
They are here for you
Feel the warmth of the winter breeze
It knows you

I saw the last leaves fall to the ground
And the earth welcoming
I heard the last cry of the night owl
As she spread her wings

The waves will come
And wash away autumn tears

Openness

My friend asked me what I think openness means to me, which I found difficult to think about at first. I eventually decided to write her a response and thought I would share it on here. It would be good to hear any thoughts you have!

---

I think openness comes almost as an effect of being less attached to "the story"; past or possible future interpretations or holdings of how things are, outcomes or feelings and emotions that come with a particular subject. When we are not clouded by these things we can think, act, express and be with more reality and integrity. And sometimes openness might mean acting against the norm or rejecting certain boundaries/constraints in the form of society's neatly woven tapestry of conformities, formalities, concepts or expectations that we abide by or we're concerned about. This 'tapestry' can be one of the bricks to the wall that the ego builds to protect itself.

Mystery is presented to us in every moment. It's possible that part of the human conditition is that we habitually with increasing intensity numb ourselves to this mystery. Recently I have been thinking about this and how opening to the mystery or to the present can support my life in so many ways. What is it like to imagine in this moment that I had just been born, to see my first colours, hear sounds etc? You don't need to go as far as that to experience mystery, but it's not far from reality. I think there is little difference between being born and the present moment being born. It is simply a new experience; a cloud formation we have never seen before; a chance to feel a pain from the past as not pain, or as a strange feeling. So in response to the mystery I am able to become less concerned about "what if...?!" and more inspired to be open, to be generous of myself and my 'contents' with others.

What I actually get out of being more open, I am just exploring. I feel it might build on a kind of certainty in self-expression, a trust in my own expression of being and experience. Now I'm started I could probably go on more, but I think I'll leave it there. If I get any lightbulbs I'll add them later.

A couple of new songs to check out: The Gardner by The Tallest Man On Earth (from Shallow Grave below) and Vetiver - The Swimming Song (A Loudon Wainwright cover from Thing of The Past) but I couldn't find that online!

You've got to pick an olive or two.

Hello,

I'm not going to bother writing anything much this evening. I'm going to have a bit of rich cake in a minute as I left it a bit late last night! And an early start tomorrow.
Got out on the nets today (olive nets that is). Nice weather all day, enjoyed the picking and we filled 10 sacks that's apparently a bit of a record for them. Anyway a good day, forecast tomorrow not so good but we'll see.

I'll just write some stuff when I find a bit of time. And, by the way, I'm not just going to be droning out stuff about my day, etc all the time. I have got a load of stuff to talk about and discuss that I think about and write about often. The subjects and "insights" of my meditation day to day. The main thing is that if I throw a load of stuff up here then there is a chance, perhaps that someone may find a bit of it interesting/inspiring/whatever.

It feels important to lay bare things that are personal as a way of working on [in myself] and promoting [to other people] more of an openness with people, myself and to life - however abstract that might sound. I know that if I don't just share that kind of stuff and see what happens, I can't tell what possibilities will be hindered from developing!

So, cheers for now.

Καληνύχτα

When I know I've got so much to say

and I'm almost kicking myself,

but the mind is blank, the page is blank and my internet blog is ........

what else can I do but just

write something?

I landed in Athens on Thursday eve, before which flight I was sitting at Gatwick in a skimpy easyJet plane for around seven hours aside what was supposedly an "icey runway". I'm now in Harakopio, nr Kalamata staying with two local residents - Mick (my dad) and Gill (my step-mother). I'm hoping to start a bit of work experience tomorrow picking some olives, if the weather is better. We fitted in a half day taster helping a friend on Saturday, which was good. Whacking branches with sticks and all that.

Weather here is amazing. It's better than this year's summer in Cornwall, if you could call it that. There is a bit of rain and it gets cold at night, but most of the time it's bright and nice. It is kind of disorientating - I feel like I've time-travelled the seasons. I'm hoping to actually get in the sea later in the week, in mid-December!

So, to get you up to speed on the rest of my life (there's not much to say, don't worry)... I'll be looking for more work (preferably labouring) when I return to Cornwall (home) before or in the new year. Save enough to venture somewhere else for a bit and gain some more gardening/agric. experience, maybe wwoof-ing or kibbutz-ing or someth-ing. Then I plan to apply for a horticulture course, which could be one of two (FDScHorts or HNC Hort) at Duchy college, or somewhere else altogether that I'm yet to find.

After a short meditate I've decided I can talk more tomorrow. I'm tired and tea and cake awaits; interesting Greek cake. So, without formatting, spell check or any of my usual perfectionist tendencies, there you have it - my first post.

Good night